yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
