is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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