Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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