In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
