Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
