I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
