i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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