No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Text me some of your sweat
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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