I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
