Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just googled if crying burns calories
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
