??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
