Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
