So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She's the barista slut.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
