woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
