Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
