my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
