Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
