Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
