haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
