what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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