I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
