Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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