Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
