She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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