I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
