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the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I smell like Dick and happiness
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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