Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
