I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
