He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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