I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
