She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
