brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
