oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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