The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
