talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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