she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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