He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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