did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
