i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
