I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
