is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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