Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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