4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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