So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
