I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
