There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
