im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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