remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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