You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
In America we eat man semen.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
