So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
