i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
