idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
